23. It’s Raining M…Girls?

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Last chapter…

Aten felt varying degrees of wonk (and was lucky enough not to turn into a vampire), but later said wonk developed into a case of balloon abs; Aten was real sad about balloon abs.

Pili was hot and got some new roomies, then found a little girl hiding in his bedroom (not like that, gawd, you sicko).

Also Tem is building a library.


Desolate.  Bleak.  Lonely.  Raet let her eyes wander around the stillness of Sima-Mighdall; Caris was puttering in the garden, Kalvin was off somewhere doing Kalvin things, Mother was… in her chambers again; Mother was always in her chambers of late.

‘Is this the legacy I am to inherit?’ She pouted, ‘a barren strip of bones and dust, picked over by carrion birds?”

Raet sighed dramatically.  ‘Alas! I…

Kalvin: “Your mother wishes to see you, Highness.”

Raet: “Oh, thank thee Kalvin, I shall seek her out directly.”

‘Like the bellow of a camel drowning out the gentle cooing of a dove, that man.’

Bastet: “My rose, there you are; come sit!”

Raet: “Oh Mother, thou lookest so very ashen today; is thine health on the decline?  Shall I fetch ye a tincture?”

Mother sighed deeply and narrowed her eyes; clearly she was weary in spirit as well as in body.

Bastet: “Thank you dear, but that won’t be necessary,” the Queen smiled, “I thought we should have a quick chat about some things; the village, the Themysimrans, etc….maybe give you some advice?  You know, like a passing of the torch sort of thing.”

Raet: “Oh, yes!  Thou wishest to impart upon mine self the depth of thine hard won, ageless wisdom!  Like the glowing vestiges of–”

Bastet: “Right?  That’s it exactly, vestiges; okay so I’ve been a bit of a rebel I’m afraid–”

Raet gasped, “nay!”

Bastet: “I know, I know…mind blown; but it’s true!  I haven’t followed all The Rules!  I mean, I did try, for a while there, but I guess I’ve always been a bit more ruled by my heart?”

Raet: “Oh, Mother, mine own self as well–”

Bastet: “Yes, I know…anywho, so fair warning; I’m pretty sure the less you follow The Rules, the rockier your Queendom will be.  Pretty sure.  Like…80%?”

Raet: “That is a very high percentage of certainty, I shall take thine caution to heart, Mother.”

Bastet: “That’s great rose, but just remember, The Rules are kinda harsh, and honestly, I don’t regret bending them one bit,” for a moment she seemed far away, “if I hadn’t, your brothers would be truly dead, and we wouldn’t have had Nafretiri…”

Raet: “I understand Mother, I know not what measure of peace I can bestow upon thee, but I do not wish to rule as mine sister does; bereft of mercy, devoid of any shred of–”

Bastet: “That’s lovely dear, also don’t trust the Themysimrans; that’s pretty much it.”

Suddenly there was a polite knock at the gate; Kalvin’s head bobbed outside.

Bastet: “Speak of the devil.”

Kalvin: “Excuse the intrusion, Majesty, but we have…ah, a situation?”

Bastet: “Is that a question or a statement, boy?”

Kalvin: “Oh, um, well–”

Girl: “Hi, are you the Queen?!”

Kalvin: “I instructed you to wait outside–”

Girl: “You’re older than I thought you’d be.”

Kalvin and Raet gasped.  Bastet chuckled.

Bastet: “I like her…where did you come from girl?”

Girl: “Oh, I don’t remember!  It was just dark, and then BAM, sand for days, and then that guy,” she gestured vaguely at Kalvin…

…”was all, rawr, intruder!  Intruder!  I will take you before my Queen, muahahaha!”

Kalvin: “Your Majesty, that is not what I–”

Bastet: “Oh settle down Kalvin, she’s just being plucky and facetious, aren’t you sweetie?”

The girl gave Bastet a wide grin, “I have no idea what that means.”

Bastet: “Let’s keep her!”

Aten could not remember ever being so uncomfy in his whole life!  He couldn’t sleep right, food made his throat all burny, his feet and ankles were all swelled up, and lot’s of just normal stuff Good Buddy said made him feel like crying for no good reason!

The thing inside him was always all squirmy too!  He’d tried telling it not to be squirmy, but it probably couldn’t hear him or something cuz it never listened.

Good Buddy tried real hard to be extra nice and wasn’t leaving for trips anymore, and he gave him Special Treats whenever he wanted them now…

…(cuz other manly-best-bud-fun-time stuff was a no go with all the weird owie butt lumps he had going on).

But it was still the worst, like, ever…and he didn’t wanna make Good Buddy sad or something, but he wasn’t super stoked about the idea of some alien-vampire thing growing in his body?

The Golden Prince wasn’t even sure he totally knew what an alien even was, but Good Buddy had tried to explain it.

Totec: “You see love, my father was an alien from a far off place called Sixam.”

Aten: “Like, how far?  Themysimra far?”

Totec chuckled, “ah, a touch farther than that, dearest, and up in the sky, past the clouds and the sun and moon…another planet entirely, nestled among the stars.”

Aten: “Oh.  Okay.  Dope?”

Totec: “Dope indeed, my treasure; I had not realized his ability to pollinate others had passed to me,” he shrugged, “we will simply have to be more careful in the future, with our lovemaking.”

Aten: “Yeah, totes, cuz this blows hard.”

Good Buddy had started laughing at that, and then Aten felt himself getting all sad again cuz he didn’t know what was so funny…

…but then he got to have another Special Treat so it was mostly okay.

But now it was so not okay.

It was the most not okay EVER.

But then it was kinda okay?

Totec: “Shall we name her for my mother, Yaretzi?”

Aten: “Um, yeah, okay, sure.”

It looked like a normal baby to him; maybe girls couldn’t be aliens or something?

Also, it was swell to have his hot abs back!

Totec: “Thank you for this, my love; you don’t know how happy you’ve made me.”

Aten: “Oh, well you know–”


Bastet might be old, but she still makes the best faces!

Yaretzi is a mysterious colour-changing baby!  When you pick her up she flashes pale, and when you lay her down she flashes dark(er)…like a little firefly; it’s as if she’s not sure which daddy she should take after (spoiler alert: she eventually chooses Totec).

Elsewhere in Al Simhara…

Kenza: “And who might you be?”

Girl: “I’m a mysterious stranger with no recollection of who I am, or where I came from; but golly gee whiz, I sure would like to stay here in this snazzy pyramid and be  your roommate and possible BFFAE with extra forever and ever?”

Kenza: “I seeHappy Simming.

11 thoughts on “23. It’s Raining M…Girls?

  1. Okies, I think I get it now. Vamp dude was really vamp/alien dude. And then he and blondie had a girlie who’s vamp/alien/dudette. amiright? XD

    Speaking of girlie… she’s like… everywhere. Creepy much?

    Liked by 1 person

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