59. Crocodile Tears

CENSORED Version: Click Hereย (censored for butts)

Last chapter…

Selene and Coltsfoot totally failed at stealing any books from Oly’s Nana, but Artemis cut out of there like a boss with her share of the loot (no honour among thieves apparently)…really she was just in a hurry to go make sure her brother didn’t kill himself looking for (social) lubricants!

Pili and Khafre had some bro time in the jungle (not like that, sheesh), and they agreed that you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes, and also that Horus was a stupid name, and Bastet (Athena?) was probably having a massive lol at everyone’s expense.

And then Khafre got the heck outta dodge.



“Hey, Lena, why the waterworks?” Artemis wasn’t really sure why she was asking, obviously her sister was upset about the library thing…well, it was probably the library thing? Lena did like to get upset about lots of random stuff, so mayb–

“You know why!” Wailed the crier; alright, cool, it was the library thing.

“Come on Lena, don’t cry about that–”

“That’s easy for you to say, isn’t it?!” Selene shot her sister an impressive glare, “you got away with what you wanted! I didn’t get anything and I had to pretend to want to watch Oly play Hillboptoo–”

“Hillock II.”

“Whatever! It’s a stupid game! And books are stupid, and you–“

“I’m sorry, Lena.”

“Er…what?” Selene’s brain was clearly struggling to quantify an Artemis apology.

“I’m sorry I left you there with moron-face, and I’m sorry you got caught by Oly and had to watch video games; that must’ve sucked big time, especially since Oly blows at H2.”

“Right, okay, I’ll just keep going while you process that? So, I had to go upstairs and stop Mosi from exploding himself; he was poking around in Calliope’s storage room and I basically dragged him home.”


“But anyway, I would have felt bad…probably…for just ditching you there, because that whole thing was your idea, and you hooked us up with idiot-key-boy, so here…”

“…no hard feelings?” Man, it was weird doing something nice.

“This is–”

“It’s called a ‘book’–”

“A Walk in Dreams…” Selene caught her breath.

“Oh Artemis!” The genuine depth of feeling in her sister’s voice was almost enough to warm the younger girl’s black little heart, “how can I ever repay you?”

“Whoa, no, it’s fine, seriously! I mean, I made you sit through crappy Oly gaming and at least half an hour of ugly crying; you don’t owe me squat.”

“I am not an ugly crier.”

“Eh…suuure you’re not, hon.”


Simchu Pichu was paradise….especially compared to That Other Place…

…the place where Bad Things happened.

Nafretiri shuddered as though a cold breeze had wafted by.

‘You’re not there anymore; buck up kid,’ she needed the reminder from time to time, but a lot less now than when they’d first come here…when they’d first left There.

You want to talk about despair? Try being a kid looking after a baby. Now try being that same kid looking after a baby surrounded by dead people, dead family people; it was supremely…not fun.

Honest to Goddess, she’d thought they were both done for, or she would have probably tried to make a break for it to anywhere but There…thankfully everyone was upstairs in the bedchambers so her and the baby could get away from that whole scene.

Well, not Pili, but he hadn’t been really dead or they would have had smelled him, so that was fine.

Nafi had set her and Nubs up in the kitchen so that she didn’t have to drag them around the pyramid; she was too weak from the sickness.

They were both goners.

Maybe that’s why she’d been so angry at Khafre for so long? He came too late. He didn’t save mom and dad and Biter, he didn’t save Cora and her baby either, and he told her that Pili was probably dead too and wouldn’t listen when she told him he was wrong. Grown-ups.

Of course that was when she was kid and she didn’t get it; now she understood a bit better, but she’d always probably be a little resentful when she thought about Khafre and That Other Place.

Speaking of Khafre.

Little Horus squirmed in her arms, which was annoying, so she turned him loose.

“Don’t wander off again, croc-snack,” she warned.

Horus was an epic wanderer; Nafi swore to Goddess the kid was going to get himself eaten by some lizard one of these days.

A squeal of delight pierced the air as Princess Kebechet went off about some random thing.

Loudest fucking creature in the jungle.

“Can’t we just sell her to the slave traders in the Basin,” muttered Anubis.

“You were even more annoying when you were her age.”

“I seriously doubt that,” he snorted, “I don’t have the vocal range to shatter stone.”

“Yeah, there’s that,” Kebs was cute though, you know, if you liked loud evil children.

Whatever, everyone was pretty relieved there was finally a princess; those were kind of important when you served a Goddess with expectations about your matriarchal dynasty.

Honestly, they didn’t have much more than that, though; a princess, some rudimentary shelter…

…and a pretty damn pathetic ‘garden’ (Pili was super proud of it).

Foraging was a thing, and thank Goddess the jungle was plentiful in providing food and stuff for building.

Not bad for a few years, really, considering they’d arrived with nothing but their clothes and a meager supply of rations.

Pili seemed to prefer sleeping in the lean-to outside…

…while the rest of them shared the rock shelter, which was maybe more cosy than a lot of people would like, but whatever, it was warm and dry, and Nafi didn’t have to share a bedroll with any of the babies.

Also there was the little waterfall they used for bathing…Nafi was pretty sure she could never go back to splashing her pits out of a bowl after having had a shower.

Not to mention the, ah, view.

Seriously nice view.

What more could a traumatized orphan ask for?


For the first time in her entire life, Artemis Osiris wondered if she was smart enough to do something; it was supremely unnerving.

“Is this how regular people feel?” Gross.

Maybe she should consult with Mosi–gah! No, she hadn’t reached that level of desperation…besides, he’d always been shit with archaic syntax, even before having his intelligence hijacked by an overabundance of biology.

“Azkeb–buh-merr–oh for fuck sake; bibbity, bobbity, boo!”

Artemis looked around for something to throw up against the was that wasn’t a thousand year old magical tome; no dice.

“I’d be such a crappy witch,” she moaned.

“Come on, grandma, I’m doing this for you! Well, kind of,” she was also doing it because necromancy was cool as fuck.

Was it because she wasn’t a witch? Could, like, Oly the Bonehead read this gibberish? Wow, that was a sobering thought.


“Hey Cicada, wanna come over and play?”

“I thought you meant something else when you said ‘come over and play’, though.”

Artemis snorted, “so…can you read it or what?”

“Yeah, I can read it, it’s in the Sorcering Tongue; all witches can read it…”

“Huh, that’s…actually sort of…neat…and you can pronounce all those weird symbols?”

“What can I say? I have a talented tongue.”

“You’re less witty than you think you are.”


“So what does it say?”

“Well, it’s a necromancy ritual.”

“Yeah, no shit, that’s kind of implied in the title; Necromancy and You; Ritual Resurrected.”

“Where did you get this anyhow, smart ass?”

“It’s, uh…one of dad’s old books.”

“Wow, good thing Nana B doesn’t know he had this; she’d shit a rocket.”

“You’re not going to tell her are you?”

“Nah, I’m cool.”

“So…will you help me?”

“I dunno, Artie, this is some pretty dangerous next level shit; like…what are you even trying to accomplish?”

“I just thought it would be cool to talk to my grandma…maybe she knows where my dad is…”

“Oh, right, crap, sorry…I mean, yeah, the dead know stuff…”


“What’s in it for me?”

“Um, the pleasure of helping out a friend?” Slash nemesis.

“Nah, I’m thinking you owe me one.”

“Yes, okay, fine! I owe you one.”

“Then you have yourself a talented tongue.”

“Still not cute.”

“Eh, let it simmer a little; you’ll come around.”


‘Who even keeps that creepy thing lit?’

“Rise and shine, big fella…we need to talk.”


Kebechet’s father is exactly who you think it is #sorrynotsorry

Hopefully the little tour I slipped in there wasn’t tedious (some people like house tours ok) but I had the grandest time putting this lot together for the Simchu Pichu homestead, and I just had to share!

Once again, a year + has passed in the jungle.

Belladonna’s secret blic bloc addiction: “HAPPY SIMMING!!”


Give Comfort poses by Simsulfurtrash

Female Bodystocking by Julie J

Magic PlantSim Stump Toddler Potty by BigUglyHag

Old Books by Budgie2budgie

Animated Waterfall Rock by Asyli

Cradle on a Stone & Monkey Trees by Sandy

Sticks and Stones Dollhouse by Simsworkshop

Prehistoric Rock Shelter by historicalsimslife

Prehistoric Lean-to by historicalsimslife

Sims Castaway Animal Skin Rug by historicalsimslife

Rock Surfaces by artrui

Portable Washing Bowl by plasticbox

Egypt Relics by g1g2

Montevista Woodfire Oven by necrodog

Deco Bedrolls by Wiccandove

Early Civilization Clothing by teanmoon

29 thoughts on “59. Crocodile Tears

    1. Because you know what this story *really* needed? TWO PILIS ๐Ÿ˜œ
      Inorite; I hope Artie knows to make proper use of the linguistic talent ๐Ÿ˜

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Little Miss Princess Pili!!!

    And Pili is a vampire once more. YAY!!!

    Oly…that hair. I like!

    He was giving Artie “the look”. She didn’t take the bait. :/

    So…will she resurrect her dead grandma and all hell will break loose? I hope so!

    Khafre…so handsome. I don’t care what he’s up to. Love looking at da boy. โค

    Liked by 3 people

    1. She’s the cutest little incest baby EVAR ๐Ÿ˜
      And now we have all the Pili varieties in one place (there’s a Pili for everyone, woot)

      Oly’s glorious hair that I constantly hide under a hat because it steals the show, rofl
      Yeah, Artie’s not that easy, it’ll take a bit more than some low key flirting!

      Well, I mean, she’s got a magic book and a willing witch now… anything could happen! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

      Aww, I’m sure Khafre was just having a stroll and bumped into an old friend! ๐Ÿ˜

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Dark WitcHazard: Haha not gonna lie I missed the Glow of Piliโ€™s eyes! Makes him look final boss worthy! And Oly makes a Mohawk look fierce! Also so the incest love child is the heir darn I was looking forward to a Selene Artemis throw down for the throne, but I guess Piliโ€™s genetics still love on! Youโ€™re not gonna stop until my Artemis Anubis ship dies! Also who the heck turned Pili again? Darn you woman for giving few answers and adding more questions but I love it!

    Lover WitcHazard: I agree with Dark vampire Pili is next Pili weโ€™ll only second to waterfall shower Pili๐Ÿ˜! Also such a sad backstory!๐Ÿ˜ญ

    Nooboos WitcHazard: Ewghsbedbssbjssjansbshsg! Nooboos!โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽŠ๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I feel you, Dark; I missed them too ๐Ÿ˜ญ he’s just not the same without his Boss Eyes.
      LOL, I love the mohawk on Oly too, not every sim can pull it off, y’know ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
      Kebs *does* complicate a possible Lena/Artie sudden death heiress mud wrestling match, I agree… but you just never know what can happen ๐Ÿ˜
      I hope you’ll be happy in the end by what Nubbins gets to violate with his manparts ๐Ÿ˜ฌ I guess we’ll see!

      Poor Nafi ๐Ÿ˜ญ but at least now we know? /Throws nooboos as a distraction


  3. Two Pilis!!! I thought one Pili couldn’t be topped.

    OMG, Tem and Jahi…that needs more than 2 sad kittehs. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ Poor Nafi, traumatized is right.

    Artie is so beautiful. โค โค โค โค And I loved her banter with Oly, LOL. Going to her worst enemy (annoyance?) for help. With necromancy. Nothing could go wrong there.

    I agree with Nooboos WitcHazard: NOOBOOS. All of them are so cuuuute. Guess a certain someone took one for the team to produce Kebechet. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Also your jungle sets were GORGEOUS, and not just because of naked Pili showering, though I have to agree with Nafi, view is niiiiice.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I could never pass up an opportunity for another Pili! ๐Ÿ˜ I cannot promise they will ever shower together, but it’s crossed my mind…

      Poor Nafi, but she’s a fighter, I think she’ll be okay (maybe) ๐Ÿ™

      ROFL. You’re right, that whole Oly, necromancy thing will go off without a hitch; excellent idea Artie! One of your best! ๐Ÿ˜

      Raet and Pili are nothing if not dutiful! I mean, a dynasty is at stake, right??

      Ty for the set love โค๏ธ I love Selvadorada! It’s so nice not to have telephone poles and giant dinosaurs in the way of my screenshots! ๐Ÿ˜ญ

      Liked by 1 person

  4. If you are gracious enough to give us 2 PIlis, Fruity, why stop there? Why not 3 or 4 or 5 Pilis? A PILI ORGY!!!! ๐Ÿคฉ

    Aww, Lena, you are too sensitive for your own good! It’s a good thing you have a sister who kicks ass and is afraid of no things! Necromancy and golden tongues….can’t wait!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ๐Ÿ˜ is the world ready for a Pili orgy tho?? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
      ROFL, taking my clone wars to the next level!

      Lena is lucky to have an Artie to look out for her! (She totally does ok, you know, when it’s convenient ๐Ÿ˜ˆ)

      Necromancy and golden tongues is an interesting combination… especially because Pili orgy…

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I checked the character list. So Pili and Raet had two daughters, Kebechet and Hatshetpsut. Another incest? It’s slowly becoming the new normal. ๐Ÿ˜€
    A minute of silence for Jahi. I will miss his way of talking. At least we have Anub.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You cheated?! GASP.
      They did have two, yeah ๐Ÿ˜‰
      I’ve been doing a lot of heavy reading about the Ptolemaic Dynasty recently, and I’m afraid some of that is inevitably rubbing off on my current vision for this family! ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

      Poor Jahi! But as you say, at least we have Nubbins; and there’s plenty of him to come yet! โค

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Okay, Pili-squared helps to make up for your ship killing and throwing dead Tem and Jahi in my face and all those FEELS ๐Ÿ˜ญ

    At least he and Raet are guaranteed to have incest babies with epic genes, but damn it, I just want Pili back home with the triplets though… guide Mosi through all these girl troubles and stuff *sigh* (apparently โ€œtake a father away from his childrenโ€ is a trigger for me ๐Ÿ˜‚ why must you keep doing this ๐Ÿ˜ญ)

    Super pumped to see Artemis and Oly working on a necromancy ritual for Bastet ๐Ÿ˜ˆ I mean, Iโ€™m also terrified and certain it canโ€™t end well? But Iโ€™m still excited too ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
      And LOL, Pili squared; 2 Pilis is the best amount of Pilis!

      Yes! That’s true! Focus on all the pretty incest babies to come ๐Ÿ˜Š

      And…and, you know, like maybe there *will* be at least one father who gets to be with his kids on surprise? ๐Ÿ˜Ž

      A necromancy ritual not end well? Whaaaat! That’s never happened before ๐Ÿ˜Ž

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I couldnโ€™t even read the rest for about about 15 minutes. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ Had to do stupid work stuff to get my mind off of the sad sight you threw unsuspecting at us…. Poor Nefri though. And the incest princess… and Pilis butt helped….but butts should never be censored. For reals….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Agreed on never censoring butts!
      (Luckily there is always an uncensored version to keep the butts intact!)

      Aww, I know… but they got to go together! That’s, okay, not the most stellar HEA, but *kinda* romantic?? O.O
      I mean, least closure now! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Wait…. two Pilis? One from the past and one from the future? He got split like Cassie did? Or didnโ€™t he just get turned back to a vamp….but how?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Future him just went back to where past him existed ๐Ÿ˜
      (Don’t worry, I’ll be done with time travel mindfux soon)
      No splittage this time, he wasn’t doubled up on himself like poor Cassie/Kendra ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Whoa, Artie. Necromancy? That’s like, deeply dangerous, sometimes evil, shit. And some theories say there’s always a price.
    Ah, so Kaffy Taffy goes to old-timey Pili and wakes him up to tell him he’s gotta be the dungeon dude for 2 millenia.

    Liked by 1 person

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