79. Who You Gonna Call?

Last chapter…

Nubbins and Kebab circled around each other (snarling) a bit more before finally deciding to just get tangled up and see what happens; Nubs happened more quickly than he’d anticipated, but that’s okay, Kebab was cool about it.

They agreed more practice was in order.

Desh did a fake death thing with the help of her baby’s (surprise!) great grandma, who may or may not have been spied on by Kumya, but definitely seems like she got some kinda game up her metaphorical sleeves!



For a hot minute there, Artemis considered what she might do to sort this shit out by herself, but when it’s time to throw in the towel and admit you stumbled into a huge fucking mess, it’s time, okay; no shame in calling a plumber when your pipes burst and the basement is turning into an unauthorized gross swimming pool.

And wow, was it Goddess damned time for a plumber….or at least, a witch.

Documenting the creepy-as-hell phenomenon proved to be a bit of a challenge, since the damn thing refused to photograph.

Whatever, not like she could stroll on out of there with the massive portrait tucked under her arm; the witches were just going to have to take her word for it, or come see for themselves.

“Or maybe I’m going fucking crazy.”

Could be; better not take any chances though.

“And it’s not like the damn thing was a painting, either, okay?  It’s like a photograph on a weird, swirly background, and I tried to take a pic with my phone, but that was a huge nope.”

“A simulacrum…” Primrose started muttering to herself almost instantly, which was normally not a good thing, but Artemis found herself tingling with relief.

“Invisible to human technology; it must be soul-related magics…” Belladonna’s addendum didn’t help to ease the creepy-factor, but hell, if this sorted shit out, Artie was happy to stand there and listen to them mumble about it all damn day.

“Sooo, did you guys just get back from a weird costume party or something?”  She asked the constantly over-subdued changeling guy.

“We did not.”

“Oh, okay, that clears it up,” Balsam-fucking-robot-cat ftw.

“My dear, was there any sort of discharge on the simulacrum, or in the general vicinity?”  Bella interrupted, “and if so, what was the consistency, texture, and colour?”

“Sorry, no, nothing like that; everything looked pretty much the same since the last time me and Oly were in there to set up the candles–”

“The candles?”  Bella interrupted, “why were you and Oly setting up candles?”

Primrose inhaled sharply, “oh dear…”

“Er, well–okay, so when I was a kid, I saw my grandma’s ghost standing in front of the portrait, and then later, when dad disappeared I sort of became a bit preoccupied with talking to her,” saying it out loud sounded way dumber than it had in her head, “I mean, ghosts know stuff, right?  I thought maybe she could tell me what happened to him…”


“Dude, what?  No!”  His little spaz moment caught her off guard, “I just wanted to summon her, or something, to talk.”

Immediately the robot-cat-guy started weeping, “um, are you…okay?”

“Don’t mind him, my dear; it’s the hormones,” Primrose sighed, “do continue.”

“Okay, well, I tried for a long time on my own and failed repeatedly, even after looking at all my dad’s old books,” she paused to take a steadying breath, “um…so then I borrowed one of Madam Blackthorne’s books–”

“Excuse me?”  Snapped the ginger witch, “you borrowed one of my–”

“Oh…hexes!”  Added Primrose, “let me guess…necromancy?”

“Yeah…sorry about that,” in for a penny, right?  “But then, of course, I couldn’t read it, so I called Oly over and surprise, surprise–”

“Oly was able to translate it for you,” Bella finished for her, “tell me something, did the two of you read any of book out loud in the presence of the artifact where you saw your grandmother?”


“This is an unmitigated disaster; Oly should have know better!”

“When one lacks instruction in necromancy, even on a very basic ‘how not to summon spirits accidentally’ level, I don’t see how they can be held accountable–”

“Are you saying this is my fault?  Oly, as you’ve so often repeated to me, is your Heir, not mine!”

“Was, was my Heir…”

“It’s my fault, okay?  All of this shit, everything,” Artemis interjected, “I’m the one who stole the book, and recruited Oly, and started this whole mess.”

“No child,” Belladonna said quietly, “this is not your fault; the responsibility for magical goings on in The Woulding falls on the shoulders of it’s guardians, do you understand?”

“And it is likely we have already paid the price for our complacency in blood…” Primrose added softly.

“Ah, yes,” agreed the other witch, after a moment, “I see what you mean.”

“Well I don’t, what–?”

“It is likely, Artemis, that the incident in my kitchen was the doing of this creature who has possessed your sister’s body; spirits are known to be mercurial, at best, when given the run of living realm…and this spirit would be very old–” she paused and drew in a sharp breath, “–very, corrupted by death.”

The young woman’s bowels turned to water as her brain made the connection.  Selene.  It was Selene all along…well, her body?

Oly wouldn’t have seen it coming, there’s no way!

A fresh pang of grief assaulted her, as the horror of it sunk in.

“Oh, Goddess!  It’s JUST SO AWFUL!”  Wailed the unstable man-cat as he lunged for Artie.

“Calliope will need to be told–”  Primrose stated calmly, completely oblivious to the changeling weeping all over her guest.

“I am her mother, I will do it,” Bella’s reply was stiff, “if there is a messenger to be shot for this, it will be me.”

Artie let the witches squabble over the bones, while the were-cat-dude blew snot all over her comfiest sweater…it didn’t fucking matter; this, all of this, was her own fault, and she knew it.

‘I can never make amends for this, Oly.’

Did this mean her sister was dead too?  All those shitty movies, about people paying too high a price for dabbling in magic, were right all along…


Didn’t see it coming, that’s for sure; holy crap, why would you though?  Like, maybe Selene would’ve been upset…okay, 10/10 Selene would’ve been upset…but we’re talking wailing into her pillow, taking long sad walks on the beach, and maybe bleaching her hair for a ‘fresh look’ kind of coping, okay?

The hell she’d be all ‘stabbity, stabbity’; not her style.

So, no, didn’t see that shit coming…quite a pickle, though, right?

That first stab must’ve poked a hole in something pretty damned important, because the shock of it was enough to knock a poor shmuck right the hell over into a puddle of their own blood.

There was so much blood…why was there so much blood?  Also, shoes; completely ruined, those were limited edition 2017 Air Jordans, ok; that shit doesn’t grow on trees!

Anyway, all those people in films who get stabbed or shot or something not fun like that?  You know, the ones who just get back up and keep on fighting a villain, or save an orphanage or whatever…BULLSHIT.  That’s what.

The shock alone; you better believe that crap means business!

The dying part wasn’t so bad, Oly reckoned; the feeling of life slowly seeping away was kinda soft, actually; peaceful, or something…no pain, really, well except for the pain of having ruined collector’s edition shoes of course.

Fuck that shit.

So maybe it was on purpose a little bit, or maybe just some sort of knee-jerk (soul-jerk?) reaction to being ventilated against one’s will, either way you slice it (ehehe…too soon?), the magic took over and hit that eject button but hard.

Where the crap was this?

And more importantly, what the crap was this outfit?

Oh, ‘ha ha’, death, I see what you did there; very punny.

At least the Jordan’s were okay.  Or did this mean they died too?  Damn.

Anyway, once you get launched out of your body, any moderately well educated witch (and maybe especially a Dreamwalker), could figure out what’s up.

The tricky part, is what do you do about it?

Well, you don’t linger, that’s for damn sure; as pretty as the bluffs were, beyond the veil, the one thing you should never do is linger…folks who lingered could lose their way.

“Eye on the prize, Oly,” get oriented, make a plan, “shit, Artie’s going to be so pissed.”

She wasn’t though; she was sad.  Really, really sad.

“I didn’t know you felt this way about me kid, well, I guess I should have though, because I–”

“Artemis, are you awake?”

“Holy fuckasaurus hex…what the crap is that?!”

The scent of blood and decay lingered in the air around it, but the thing seemed weirdly concerned about Artie…or at least like it wasn’t about to whip out the murder.

It had the feel of a parasite of some kind, or…a thief?  Something like that; best guess, considering the amount of attention paid during ‘nasty magical crap’ lessons.

It didn’t seem to notice Oly, which meant what exactly?  It was fully in the living realm.  Right?  Probably.  Got itself a nice, shiny body to inhabit…but whose?

Someone who could just waltz into Artie’s bedroom and start blabbering away without arousing suspicion.  Orrr…kill an Oly without anyone suspecting them?

“Shit, Selene.”

She wasn’t that hard to find, actually, when you knew you were supposed to be looking for her…

…but even though they were both beyond the veil, Selene couldn’t hear her friend.

“There are rules, Dreamwalker; you know this.”

A Gatekeeper; well, crap, this was one tight little mind-prison.

Oly wasn’t the biggest fan of rules, but the hell if that parasite-shade-thief thing was gonna win.

“Not on my watch.”

They were both getting out of here, no matter what…

…even if it required some kind of hella weird way of breaking in.

“You cannot keep me in here, worms!”  Roared ‘Selene’.

“How are you keeping her in there, anyways?  Can’t she just climb out through that gap in the top?”

“A rather ingenious holding spell, if I do say so myself.”

“Well, I hope it’s really good one, because she some kind of mad…”

“It will suffice for a time, never you worry dear; we should have our resolution to this issue well before it runs it’s course.”

“So do we know what she…it…is, yet?  Like, is it really my grandma, or…?”

“Yes, but also, no,” Bella got a super creepy look on her face, “spirits are complicated, you see, and the older the spirit, the more complicated it becomes.”

“They are bits and pieces of mortal self spread thin over layers of thought and feeling and obsession, melded with shades of the primordial…and other assorted junk that floats around in the planes of the otherworlds.”

“Normally I’d probably find that pretty awesome, but right now I just want my sister back,” maybe it was all the feels packed into this short span of time, but Artie was feeling pretty damn drained, “we can get her back, right?”

“Theoretically,” Primrose replied in a pretty shady tone, “anything is possible.”

“You will never succeed, witch; I will see the inside of your skulls before the day is through!”  Hissed ‘Selene’.

“Well, whatever it is that needs doing, maybe we should do it soon, because she’s getting a little hyper in there, and the two of you look like you’ve got magic lady boners or something.”

“Oh, they cannot begin yet; we haven’t sorted out a way to assess it’s possession, well unless you do not care if the host dies in the process–”

“You know I do, cat-boy, so don’t even go there, capisce?”  Why did everyone else get to take a brain-holiday to crazy town, while she had to be the sane person in the room?

Fucking exhausting.

“Do not trouble yourself, Artemis, we will take excellent care of your sister’s vessel–”

“See?  That shit right there!”  Artemis snapped at them, “that creepy, witchy crap; it’s not her damn ‘vessel’, it’s her body, ok?  Just–pretend you’re not a herd of weirdos for two minutes and tell me what the plan is.”

“Peace, daughter of Athena,” Prim with the grandiose word vomit.

“Always in such a hurry, these mortals!” She chuckled, like a damn weirdo, “is your sister a repressed and horrified bystander, able to do naught but watch?  Has she been flung from her vessel–er, body, entirely, adrift in the otherworlds?  Or perhaps she’s tucked away in some small corner of her own mind, slumbering peacefully…”

“You will never know, maggot,” hissed the creature, “you will have to rip this body apart piece by piece to find her.”

Primrose chuckled, “well, if you leave us no other choice, my dear–”

“To be honest, I’d rather see her dead than possessed,” Artemis threw in, just so these nutjobs understood what the end of the line looked like.

“Would it make any difference in your hateful little hearts to know that I am with child?  You would not only be killing Selene, you see, but her and Perseus’s unborn babe as well,” the smile on that thing sent creepy shivers up Artie’s spine, “why Prim–was that not your son?!

Why did it feel like she was stuck in a big old ‘And then!’ saga?  At least that little tidbit of info wiped the smirks off of the witches’ faces…


You didn’t think she’d try an solve it all by her lonesome, didya? 😀

Kudos to Oly for making lemonade out of some damn mouldy lemons!  In case it wasn’t clear, they peaced out of their body before it died, and are therefore not actually dead, just doing epic Dreamwalker stuff.

Perseus, who is not a Dreamwalker, is truly dead; my condolences to any secret Perseus fans out there /hugs.


43 thoughts on “79. Who You Gonna Call?

  1. Damn, this chapter was witchy af! LOL, Balsam’s reactions, and then everyone being like “oh don’t mind the preggers cat.” ROFL.

    Your screenshots were AMAZING. Not-Lena was TERRIFYING omg. And I loved the ~Ethereal Oly~ doing Ethereal Oly things.

    I’m glad Artie isn’t doing this alone, and has more experienced witches on her side. I want Selene to be saved, of course, but I’m also hoping Artie will be reunited with Oly (that was some magical defense mechanism), and not as a baby.

    Can I mention again how refreshing it is to have a character ASK FOR HELP and be open instead of keeping everything to themselves and get into even more shit??? Aaaaa, seriously, ty.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Poor Balsam! All this stress can’t be doing him any good; these witches and their shenanigans, a poor preggo guy just can’t catch a break! 😭

      Thank you for the screenshot love! ❤
      Credit to photoshop and picmonkey for having my back there, but I need to stop making pics that scare me when I alt-tab over to my imgur 😦
      I actually used the Bastet YA sim for that pic (she never looked better).

      Dreamwalking is hax, apparently, when it comes to being murdered (MBN!), but I guess the drawback is that you end up wandering in the otherworlds aimlessly until forever or something? Yerg.

      Aww, thanks! I know it makes for more drama to be silly, and make tired choices, but Artie's just never been that kind of gal, especially when the stakes are high! (Her sister's life; very high stakes).
      ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Spud’s magic pee! If only that was real, considering Bud’s incontinence, then maybe I’d be unbirthed by Lena too. 😬

    Aaaaaaa loved seeing Oly’s grand plan from their PoV. They’re the only good (nonbinary) dead lesbian because death made Oly feel even more alive this chapter. At least a ton more coniving. 😉

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oly should be grateful that Spud is blessing their Jordan’s with the magical pee!
      Too bad Lena isn’t aware that Oly got to be up close and intimate with her vajimjam after all 😭

      Oly has finally found their calling as a Problem Solver! Hopefully.
      I hope they get future opportunities to shine, but maybe not because of a close brush with death (I feel like that’s only fun once every hundred years or so).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If Oly can escape and eventually get a mid-life crisis (all while Spud is welcoming more grandpups probably), then sure. 😉


      2. “Too bad Lena isn’t aware that Oly got to be up close and intimate with her vajimjam after all ”
        I’ve never thought about this until now. Thank you, Froot! 😭😭😭

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh thank god Artie is smarter than all those horror movie kiddos and told someone that has a clue!
    And I’m glad Oly is not “really” dead, but still, what about their body? Are they condemned to do eternal dreamwalking stuff now, forever? :c
    Maybe the witches could bake a body for them…
    Also, what a way to introduce a new generation. I’m rather curious how Lena would take the news when she’s back. What a shame to be preggo and not even remember the fun part about it… or maybe not so fun, baby daddy is kinda her uncle, after all x.x
    poor girl :c I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d jump right back into dream life!

    Uh. And Pili looks like he just caught someone in the act? xD

    Liked by 3 people

    1. LOL! I agree!
      That would *not* be Artie’s style to keep on doing the dumb thing and making stuff worse and worse; especially not when the stakes are high!
      Well, Oly’s old body is gone, sadly; it’s been too long now. Maybe if the witches had known, they could have put it on ice, but alas!
      When this kind of things happens to other dreamwalkers, they do just wander beyond the veil for eternity, poor things 😭

      It’s true! Baby daddy IS kinda her uncle, in a way… and I don’t think she’d want to remember that particular boom boom, it wasn’t super fun for poor Perseus 😦

      I don’t know why Nubbins looks so freaked out there, Pili is a teddy bear! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow…glad to see Oly alive! Here’s hoping for a huge resolution soon!

    RIP Perseus! 😭😭😭 *real mourning now*

    And that thing inside Selena is totally creepy. I don’t understand why Artie thinks the witch’s are creepy when that thing is around flinging threats. *shivers*

    I feel a bit comforted by the witches though…

    And doh! Does Pili find out what Nubby has been up to?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Resolution is coming, my friend! We sure can’t drag these shenanigans out endlessly, lol.

      Aww, Perseus mourning *hugs* he was a good egg! And he left behind some awesome stuff for us to enjoy ❤ 😭

      Corrupt Bastet! She's quite a thing, isn't she! To be fair, Artie hasn't seen what Oly's seen, otherwise I'm pretty sure she'd amend her opinion on what qualifies as creepy, LOL

      You can't hide anything from Pili; he's like a NINJA ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Ooh I loved the way you did the shots of ghostly Oly! Your editing skills are sooo good!

    I’m glad they’ve at least made some headway here on this rescue mission! But man… I’m still worried haha And preggers ‘Selene’, eh? 🤔 Well that just complicates things even more 😂 (Is this somehow Oly 2.0…? 3.0? Lol 2.0 was the cute dream-tod!)

    I have faith in Artie though. And the witches. They can do it ❤️ And poor hormonal Balsam. Someone get that guy a pint of ice cream!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! Me and photoshop had a great time together, making Oly-spectres 😀

      Yes, headway needed to be made; can’t drag this arc about endlessly, LOL
      (Or could we? Hmm)

      I’m sure we’re all super curious about what will come out of Not-Selene’s blessed vajimjam… and hoping it looks not like what is currently residing in her bod (yerg).

      Aww, #IceCream4Balsam
      I ship it.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Phew! What a chapter!!! 😮

    Oly rocking those Dream Jordans!!!

    And I know the witches are saying that the spirit is Artie’s grandma, but spread thin… Well, I have a hair-brained theory that makes absolutely no sense but is fun anyway 😀

    So, what happened shortly (like a gen) after Bastet’s death? A plague! Well, perhaps her painting or urn (or both) got corrupted by the plague and the spirit is some sort of amalgamation of Bastet’s spirit and… DUN-DUN-DUN Plaguey McPlagueSmith!!!

    Witches gonna banish that D-Bag and he’s gonna find himself in the Ayar court timeline, where he can get up to a whole new range of mischief! 😀

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Bacon, that theory is so bonkers and counter-intuitive it’s DEFINITELY plausible for this story 😂 😂 😂

      Oly is always well shod; even when kinda dead and floating around the otherworlds 10/10


      Liked by 2 people

  7. Oh oh oh oh oh oh……. Oly and Selene live, sort of and she IS pregnant….omg. One more babe to add to the new editions… hmmmm.

    So Bastet knows she is in Selene’s body….but now I’m trying to understand why she killed Oly and Perseus. Evidently she banged him first. Or I am totally confused. Which wouldn’t be a stretch….lol…

    Beautiful ghostly shots.

    And well, Pili looks pissed he didn’t get to be the one to deflower Kebabs… lmao.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They do!.. er, yeah, kinda.
      She sure is pregnant! (kekekkeke), I’m looking forward to everyone meeting this babby (awesome babby! Er, hopefully).

      You are not confused! She did indeed bang poor Percy first (though he probably wasn’t super on board with it, yikes), and then did away with him, and then Oly walked in, and doh! Well, easiest way to make sure someone doesn’t find out your PLOTZ is to eliminate any witnesses, right? Alas.

      Omg… yes, that is 10/10 Pili in that pic “MY DAUGHTER I GET TO BE FIRST, RAWL!”

      Liked by 1 person

  8. When did possessed Selene become pregnant with Perseus baby? 😮
    The image of shade Oly saw will haunt me for a while.
    Awesome job on the pictures, especially all Oly pictures!
    Can Oly return? In another body? Maybe he and Lena will share the same body when the evil spirit is exorcised. Wouldn’t that be hilarious? Not for the two of them, ofc. Artie probably wouldn’t appreciate it either. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. She did it right before she slipped him a murder… he wasn’t okie dokie with it either, I’m afraid; but more on THAT later :O

      Thanks so much for picture love! I spent a lot of time on those, especially the Corrupted Bastet Shade thing (which still freaks me out a bit, lol).

      Maybe Oly can return! Man…sharing Lena’s body, ooo wow, that WOULD be super awkward for everyone involved, LOL.
      It’s so evil, I might just do it 😉
      ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hm. Oly and Lena switching control of one body at the most inappropriate times, that is totally something you’d do 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      2. LOL! And then Oly could call Lena “mommy”
        That wouldn’t weird or awkward for ANYONE (Oly would find it hilarious of course) 😉

        Liked by 3 people

  9. Dun, dun, dunnnnnnnnnn! Secret’s out–little Lena is knocked up! We can only have a beautiful baby (or two) between Persy and Lena, so here’s to hoping she survives this possession!!

    Okay, yeah, you’re gonna need to stop making me jump every time I scroll down, mmmkay? Bastet’s horror movie makeover made me shriek out loud–gaaaaaaaaaaaah! Seeing her as she is instead of in Lena’s body was horrifying. She’s been dead too long, it’s making sense now why she is…the way she is. *Shudder*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 10/10 Perseus and Lena’s naboo will be better looking than poor Bastet after a few thousand years in the grave (eep).

      I need to stop doing these scary pics, because they absolutely freak me out also (poor me)!!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Dark WitcHazard: Throw everything out the window the best character evah is back and looos awesome AF! Oly coming back baby! Also possessed Selene is fierce manage to force someone to knock her up, kill someone , and fly under the radar for a solid couple of months a true badass!

    Nooboos WitcHazard: More Nooboos Don’t care if she’s crazy and long as the baby lives!

    Lover WitcHazard: This chapter was awesome as was those dream walking screen shots! Can’t wait to see what happens next!


  11. Not sleeping yet. Obviously. Well, to me anyway. Maybe.
    Anyway, haven’t said this yet, but I love your chapter titles.
    And this chapter fucking rocked. And I’m seriously going to go sleep now. I mean it this time. Not even gonna hit the next chapter button.
    Really starting to like Artie. Don’t kill her… at least for a while, k?

    Liked by 1 person

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