80. The Fak You Say?

Last chapter…

Artemis went to see the witches to unload some Heavy Burdens, and then found out some super upsetting stuff about who probably killed Oly and Perseus for real; luckily Balsam was there to administer consolation hugs.

Oly caught us up to what’s been going on since being sort of murdered; fun outfits, cool dream scenery, discovering possible ebil creatures infesting your bestie (the usual)…and then, ofc, ending up being dream-born into someone else’s mind-prison!

Not-Selene saw us out with a big (uncomfortable) reveal that she’s preggers with a surprise Perseus nooboo; the peanut gallery was less than stoked.



“Ist Anubis living amongst us once more, mine heart?”  Asked Raet, “he dost so often cometh here to visitist, but perchance mineself ist mistaken, and verily he doth once again call thist place home?”

“I don’t think so, Majesty,” Pili frowned; come to think of it, Nubs had been hanging around The Rise an awful lot lately.

“Ah!  Mineself did wonderest!”

“For it doest seem ast tho he andst Kebechet art quite risen above the trappings of dissonance that didst once lay betwixt their hearts,” she smiled happily, “looketh!  See howest he doth follow her aroundest so verily sweetly noweth!”

Pili chuckled as the realization hit him, “well fuck me; she’s totally got him by the balls.”

“Er…she doest whateth with hist testicles?”

“Clever girl.”

“Hardly,” sighed Hatshepsut, “it was my idea; they were constantly bickering, did it not drive you mad?”

“Why do you think I moved him over to the expansion?”  Pili snorted, “well, this works too, sure.”

“Wouldst one of thineselfs please do tell mineself what in Goddess name–”


Nafi giggled, “can’t say I blame her; he turned out pretty well, huh?”

“Mineself doest take thine meaning, most assuredly!”

“Hey, you two!”  Pili grumbled, “I’m standing right here!”


“Tola made me get caught?!”  Deshret felt her stomach drop out her ass.

“That fucking bastard!!  Where is he?!  We’re gonna have words–” and probably some damn violence too!

“Calm yourself, girl,” the witch chuckled, which was kind of a weird reaction, actually, when someone calls your grandkid a fucking bastard, but whatevs.

“What Tola did was for your own good; he cares a great deal for your well being.”

“Well, I don’t godsdamned see how sending me to live in a shitty outside dungeon thing–”

“Because you see nothing,” hissed the older woman, suddenly looking a bit scarier than normal, “your mouth runs so quickly your mind does not have a chance to do anything else but hang on for dear life.”

Ouch, damn.

Mean,” she protested quietly.

“You were kept safe from those who would wish you harm,” the witch explained with a bit less mean, “being in hiding is not always a glamorous existence, I’m afraid, but it was all for the good of you and your babe.”

“Yeah, okay, I get it,” kinda, “but, like, he didn’t even tell me or anything–”

Dude was officially all kinds of cut off.

“When it comes to subterfuge, child, the fewer people who know, the better.”

The lady sorta had a point, but still–whoa, wait a sec…

“Hey, does that mean my kid’s going to be some kinda–whatever you are?  Mystic?  Or…somethin?”

Sabit’s laugh was sharp and sudden, “no, silly girl; of course not.”

“Okay, but, you just said she’s your great-grandkiddo–”

“And so she is, for her father is my grandson, and the only child of my only son,” Sabit pinned her with one of them looks, “but that is not how ‘whatever I am’ works, dear, I am sorry to tell you.”

“Are you though?  Cuz you actually look kinda pleased about that shit,” Deshret tried super hard not to be all pouty about it; having a magic baby would have been dope, ok.

Whatever, not like that psychic crap was real anyhow, right?  It was all just made up to trick people and stuff…she probably sounded like a huge dumbass for even sayin it out loud.

“Truly, I am,”  she totally lied, “for I would be pleased to finally have an Heiress to my line.”

Okay, maybe not a lie, but it was super hard to tell for sure.

“Yeah, okay, but you were the one going on about how she’s not a normal human baby or whatever, so I’m supposed to just assume that means she’s not…special?”  Hello, lady; logic is your friend!

“I did not say she is not special, daft creature, I said she would not be what I am.”

Wow, woman, semantics much?

“Most witches will tell you that it is safe to breed with humans as you please, for nothing will come of it, but I tell you that this is untrue.”

‘Witches’ eh…

“Huh, okay, so witches be all out there bangin folk, and like…spreading magic cooties?”

“There you have it!  See?  When you slow down and think, marvelous things can come of it!”

Smarmy bitch.

“Tiny bits of magic hidden away in mortal flesh, and what does this mean?  Well, it depends greatly on how many times the magic is compounded on the line, but think of every extraordinary person you’ve ever met, yes?  Poets, musicians, dancers, singers, great speakers, seers, and even those who only just seem to be inexplicably irresistible!”

“So, like, talented people aren’t really talented, they just full up on hocus pocus?”

Did this ho think Desh was bornd yesterday or some shit?

“Yes, essentially!”  Her eyes went all wild looking, “and it varies, of course, depending on where the magic came from, and how long it’s been in the family.”

Deshret got the feeling that she was supposed to be especially shocked or excited about that last part, “oh, okay…wicked?”

Hopefully that sounded stoked enough?

“Indeed!  For one would expect it to diminish over time, yes?  Watered down, generation after generation of mortal blood diluting the spark of magic…but no!  It grows!”

“I have studied the phenomenon for centuries already, collected so very much data, but ah!  It can be a challenge to find good subjects, it is why I first came to Simchu Pichu, for there is much magic here among the population, and no other witch to claim it as her own…actually a fairly challenging obstacle to overcome, you might not think it, but we do constantly bump into one another, it can get very messy when squabbling over territory!”

“Oh, okay.”

“Well, there is the sorcerer, of course, but he is hardly an obstacle,” she frowned, “where was I?  Ah, yes; magical growth in family lines–”

“You, like, don’t really have any friends, do you?”

“Well, I’ve been known to foster a young witch here or there, and occasionally dally with a mortal, but let’s do try and stay on topic; have you ever noticed that your opinion or interest in people tends to effect how they treat you?”

“Er, what?”

“Never mind,” bitch huffed and tried to look like she wasn’t being all judgey, “most mortals who have been gifted with the spark of magic can affect change within themselves and do marvelous things; you, however, can affect change in others.”

“Woman, I’m calling bullshit on that, I think I’d know if I was magicking people–”

“Well, you aren’t doing in consciously,” the witch had the nerve to titter even though she was the one talkin crazy, “no more so than any other gifted human, but it is a very rare phenomena, no doubt there is some connection to your demonic predecessor–”

“Omg!  You’re as bad as that stodgy ho Arsinoë!”  Crazy and fucking superstitious!  “There ain’t no demons, okay?  Lot’s of folk have eyes like mine, don’t mean a thing; it’s just a weird brown colour ffs–”

Unexpectedly, the witch lunged forward.

“Whoa!  Easy with the freaky knife there!”

For a moment her entire scalp tingled with heat, and then something quite unexpected brushed against her shoulders.

“What the actual crap–“

“There is more to this existence, Deshret the Gaul, than you, or I, or any other being in all the worlds do know,” full on creepy voice, “magic is real, demons are also real, as are many many other supernatural beings you cannot conceive of–”

“Cheese on rice, lady!  I believe you, okay!”

Hot damn.

“I went to a great deal of trouble to procure a red-eyed Gaul for my research,” she went on, apparently giving zero fucks that she’d just magic’d up a whole head of hair out of no-damn-where, “that you are clearly the firstborn daughter in a long line of firstborn daughters was a delightful bonus, and why I permitted you the use of my grandson.”

“Sorry, I’m still freaking out about the hair, what?”

“It is what I was saying earlier, about how magic intensifies more with each generation, despite being repeatedly watered down by more and more mortal blood,” the witch reiterated, even though pretty much nothing was getting through at this point because hair and GD magic.

“It is actually very similar to the way magic is passed from a witch to her heir, but in the case of humans, it is through the female line that the magic expands–”

“–are you following, my dear?”

“Uh huh, yeah, you betcha.”


“Demons are a lower class of chaotic primordial beings, the higher classes are more varied in their aspects; what you would probably consider to be gods–”

“Shitwhat?  Gods?!

This crap just got real.

“There is no need for alarm, it is unlikely they take notice of you,” bitch smiled as though that wasn’t some kind of shady thing to say.

“Simchu Pichu is a place of power, it is why I came here to study, for the people of Sim’Caritambo have been singled out for the attentions of one particular of these primordial beings.”

“You mean the Conqueror guy they’re always yammering on about?”

“The very one!  Ayar they call–”

Deshret’s shrieky gasp must’ve startled the witch.

“Are you unwell?”

“Dude–can’t He hear you?”  Holy fuck, if gods and shit were real, she was going to have to start watching her swearing and crap, right?  Godsdammit!

“What thing the people call their deity does not summon it’s notice, little Gaul; these are the words of mortals, no more do you hear the cries of ants beneath your foot than do they hear us speak our small words.”

Deshret was just about done.  Gods were real.  Magic was real.  She was probably a baby demon or something, and fucking hair, ok.

“Sure yeah; listen, can I just skip that meal you were talking about earlier and go have a nap?  My head’s about ready to pop or something.”

“Oh, how inconsiderate of me!”  Yeah, about time she figured that crap out, “I’ve overwhelmed you, haven’t I?  We can continue this discussion another time, of course; please do go rest for now.”

“Yeah, totes gonna sleep like a baby worrying about getting eaten by monsters or some shit; thanks for the hair.”

This kid needed to pop out soon so they could get the heck outta dodge and away from this nutty place; if Simchu Pichu is where a god or whatever lived, then that was sure as shit not where Deshret was gonna live!


“The garden is looking pretty lush these days,” it was, too; the boy was doing a damn fine job, despite how much time he was spending at The Rise lately.

“Pili,” Anubis blinked in surprise and set his watering can down, “I did not know you were coming today; did you want to see the orchard improvements?”

“Maybe later, I actually wanted to talk with you about Kebechet; the pair of you seem to be getting along surprisingly well all of a sudden–”

“You are angry with me,” the young man shrunk away, “I-I should have asked for permission, first, before–”

“Permission?”  Pili felt his stomach sink, was this situation darker than it seemed?  “Did–did you force yourself on her, son?”

It wasn’t unheard of, predators, tyrants, or eager young men getting carried away in the heat of the moment…but their Anubis?

“No sir!  She came to me and asked; I meant your permission–”

Relief soothed his concern, followed closely by irritation.

“My permission?  Boy, it’s not for me to say what Kebechet puts in her lady cave.”

“But you are her father…”

And there it was; the older man counted to ten internally.

“Yeah, and it’s my job to keep her safe from like, crocodiles, and shit; but I’m sure as hell not the creepy guardian of her vagina, you feel me?”

“I–yes, sir,” the boy still seemed a bit perplexed…or was that his expression for horridly uncomfortable because having a sex talk with father figure?  Eh, either way.

“You think I own her or something, because she’s my kid?”

“No, of course not!”

“So then, you think I should act like a possessive badass?  Maaaybe threaten to beat you down if don’t treat her respectfully?”

Alright, yeah, loaded questions; whatever.

“I feel like the right answer is…no,” he replied slowly, “Pili, I only thought you might have considered it disrespectful of me not to…well…it seems I was mistaken.”

“Yeah kid, you were; that shit makes the Goddess mad,” he hoped the young man understood, and wasn’t just yes-maning him.

“That’s where that whole gross thing starts, you know?  We get this idea in our heads that keeping tour kids safe means mediating in their relationships, and laying down the law on their behalf, and where does that lead?  Whose law are we laying down, ultimately?”

“Your own, I guess,” Anubis mumbled; the kid looked pretty bummed, Pili hoped it was because he felt like a bit of a dick.

“Hey, sometimes the root of tyranny is love, but that’s a perversion of love, okay?  I wouldn’t disrespect Kebs by telling myself I have the right to disapprove; the only law that needs to be laid down in her life, is her own,” he smiled in what he hoped was a kind of reassuring way, “and for that matter, yours in your life; and it sure as shit’s not my job to lay it down, yeah?”

“Yes sir, I do understand.”

“Good man,” Pili smiled, “I hope you give her sons.”

“Not daughters?”

The older man chuckled, “let Hattie have the daughters, it’ll lend legitimacy to her reign.”

“Her reign?!”

“For real; you think my sister’s blind?” Pili snorted, “she sees what those girls are; Hattie will be queen, make no mistake.”

“Oh–my; is anyone going to tell this to Kebechet?”

“Fuck,” Pili repressed a shudder, “not me.”


Hell, not me either!…We’ll make Raet do it?

Man, poor Pili; he just wanted to have a little man to man with Nubs, and maybe give out some advice on how to operate the software…a father figure’s job is never done, apparently!
Kadhi would’ve been proud of you, Pili; you a good daddy to these wayward beans ❤

I think maybe some of your abandoned beans could use a good daddy right about now, though…


36 thoughts on “80. The Fak You Say?

  1. LOL, Raet, Pili, and Hattie chatting in the beginning–and then Nafi helpfully supplying Raet with info–was hilarious. Can’t keep secrets in an Amazon tribe, sorry! Especially not one of this size. Glad everyone took it with such good humor. ❤

    Deshret, on the other hand, sure had a hard time parsing any of the things Sabit had to say. Awww, I liked the short hair on her though! It was cute. So much going on behind the scenes of the world (I'm a fan of demons, and of course I'm always curious about this Ayar guy). And who knew red hair and red eyes was such a winning combo, especially when Arsinoe was so leery of it? I'm really curious as to what flavor of special Desh's daughter will be…

    And it was really nice to see Pili and Nubbins have a pleasant talk. Nubbins expected so much worse, LOL. Interesting that everyone already acknowledges Hattie as their future queen…so curious as to how Kebab will react when she finds out. (Not well, ofc.)

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Raet is too pure! It takes her a moment to see other people’s sneakiness 😀
      You’d have to be super chill with living on top of everyone, omg, that would hard… privacy? What’s that??

      The short hair was cute! Sabbie and her showing off; the demonstration was effective though, in getting Desh on board (or freaked out?); I mean, we always suspected there was some shit going down in this world, now we know for sure (unless Sabbie’s full of crap!) 😮

      Poor Nubs, he did; luckily his surrogate father is a cool dude!

      But yeah, can confirm, 10/10 Kebab won’t like being thrown over, ahh!


  2. Talk about info overload, Sabit. I might have to re-read what she said, but it’s almost comforting to be watched over by a god but not listened in on. Idk. Real-life theology is always scarier than fiction!

    If Pili was a vampire, would he not fear death at the hands of his own daughter? 🤔 The stakes just got raised tho. 😛

    Liked by 3 people

  3. First things first… DESH’S HAIR!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

    Okay, now that that is done with…

    Even my head is exploding from that Sabit lecture! Still, I'm loving all the info that she barfed all over the place! 😀

    Is it entirely crazy, that I think the whole silver hair thing isn't actually genetic and that Desh's daughter is going to have silver hair? … With red eyes of course!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL! That’s right, the hair love! I mean, I love her with any hair ❤
      Sabit's clearly VERY enthusiastic about her life's work, and she's SUPER HAPPY to share it with anyone who will listen (or who is trapped and forced to listen?)

      LOL! I guess we'll see pretty soon; that baby bump is looking HELLA RIPE.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. So do I, but that is my favourite Desh hair – it’ll only ever be referred to now as Desh’s hair! 😀

        Sabit can tell me about her life’s work anytime she likes! 😉 She can trap me too if it’ll add to the authenticity?

        It is! Can’t wait for Mini Desh to pop out! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Lmao that beginning with poor Raet having to be clued in 😂 (Also it pains my heart to say how super cute Nubbab looked in that shot of them frolicking flirtatiously haha)

    And dang, Sabit laid it all out for us (and Desh!) I loved the explanation that human gifts come from magic. And seeing Desh realize she has demon blood in her. I wonder what this will mean for her baby though… Sabit was still so mysterious about that! It’s so fun to see more of the lore that’s at work in the background of all this!

    And nice talk with Pili and Nubbins! ❤️ Pili is such a caring and kind dad… Nubbins has a great role model for when it’s his turn someday!

    And ahhh what a little twist there about Hattie potentially being queen instead! Damn, Kebz gonna be MAD 😬

    Great chapter! All those words were worth it 😉 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww, yeah, they were pretty cute frolicking, if I do say so myself! Poor Raet, always the last to know? She would have gotten there eventually!

      Well, I mean, there HAD to be repercussions for all that boning that witches were (allegedly) doing amid the mortal population, right?

      I’m sure Sabbie has more to say, eventually; jury is out on whether or not anyone wants to listen to her though! 😮

      Pili is Best Dad; shame he doesn’t get to keep all his childrens (aww), but hopefully he’s helping shape good bois for future childrens!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Magic swirls around Simu Pichu…whirring about (and creating loads of luscious ginger locks). I can see the flashes of witch dust all around…and can’t wait for the babe to be unveiled!

    Nubs was taken a back at Pili’s attitude–probably because most dads want to protect their girls from getting emotionally attached (and from getting preggers)–they don’t want guys using them for sex. BUT in the Amazon that is not the case–they WANT their young daughters to make babies (and there aren’t many guys around to use them emotionally.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So much magic! More magic than we probably thought, if Sabit is to be believed!
      Would be kind of funny if she turned out to be yanking everyone’s chaing… then again, HAIR.

      Nah, Pili feels that way about all his kids, modern ones included; adults get to make their own decisions in his mind… and live with the consequences! All he can do is give them his best advice, and respectfully allow them the space to live as they please.
      Nubs had a bit of that ‘People need controlling for their own good’ thing going on, but hopefully Pili’s little chat made an impact!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know right?! Eternally full nests…at this point only Hattie is a teen tho… but not for long!
        Guess I need to get her laid too… Hm.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow! I feel ya Desh, my heads about to explode too. But what I got out of it is that special powerful people are all witchy! Yes! I never knew.

    Raet being clueless was hysterical. And Pili wasn’t mad at Nubbins for getting all up in Kebabs cave. He was like high five dude, hope it was good.

    And Hattie gonna take the queen spot…. hmm….there’s gonna be trouble….Kebab best have boys. Lol… but who’s gonna give Hattie girls? Might that be dear old Dad or will he recruit Anubis?

    And the vampire killer is up next…..hmmmm…..nubbins, be careful.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Who knew?! Well, Sabit apparently… OR SO SHE SAYS (she probably right).

      Pili is many things, some flaws, but he’s a cheerleader and a supportive guy in the end! 10/10 he spent some time giving the boi advice after on how to spelunk that lady cave in the best ways!

      ROFL. I can safely say that daddy has no plans on helping Hattie get them heiresses! Maybe Anubis, but there’s also her poor half-brother Horus!… so far 😀

      (Run Nubs, that priest is coming for your luscious booty 😮 )

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Yaaaaaaaas!

    Queen Hattie. May She Live Forever!

    After all, it was so masterfully clever to focus Kebby’s attention on Nubs’s not-so-little-nub. Gal won’t know what hits her when the coup-by-four hits her upside the head.

    I’d almost feel sorry for her, but I’m Team Hattie *waves her H-flag*

    Liked by 2 people

    1. LOLOL
      Poor Kebab, too busy getting skewered to see it coming 😬

      Hopefully Hattie hears about it before she feels compelled to fix the situation herself tho! 😱

      Or not? 😈
      This is what happens when you let yourself get distracted by BOYS, Kebab; tsk.


  8. Awww! When I saw Raet in the firs picture, I knew I’d be grinning throughout the chapter. Pili stating the nature of Kebab & Nubbins relationship was priceless. She indeed has him by his family jewels.
    Woman, you surely go against the flow. While the rest of us cuts the hair of their characters you do the opposite. 10/10 innovative. I approve. And all the stuff Sabit unloaded on Desh. Practically telling her that if Mozard lived in their world, his faher would be some powerful horned demon or a fairy king or something. Can’t wait to see what magic Desh’s daughter will possess. So nice of Sabit to have allowed her the use of her grandson. (It’s such a great line that I want to have an opportunity to use it in real life. “Good evening madam, would you be so kind and allow me to use your grandson?”)
    I can totes see Raet telling Kebab the bad news regarding the successorship. Kebab almost sleeping through the whole conversation until the bomb is dropped.
    Great chapter!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh! I wish I had more room for Raet, you know, seeing as she’s still the queen and all (lol), but mostly she just flits around being happy and pretty and moderately oblivious (except where her daughters’ suitability for leadership is concerned apparently?)

      Thanks! I think Kellie rocks the short ginger hair better than Desh did tho 😀
      (Cute as it was)… but maybe Sabit can stop by and point her athame at Kellie too, later, if she wants?! O.o

      Poor Sabit, she was really hoping Desh would be Utterly Fascinated by all her revelations! Sadly those around us are seldom as obsessed with our passions as we ourselves are /bawls

      You may certainly have the use of that line if you can find a need for it 😘
      Apparently Sabit is very utilitarian when it comes to her progeny, LOL

      HA! Yeahhh… I could see it too “yes, mom, yes, mom, ye–THE FAK YOU SAY?!”

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Would you believe me it’s only been now that I noticed the color of Pili’s eyes? LOL Never paid attention to it before after he lost the hot creepy yellow
    I kind of blame myself for not recognizing Sabit was a witch earlier. I mean, it was clear she could use magic (like, yeah that’s always been what she does). But for some reason I didn’t connect the threads with the modern-day witches we know of. Mind’s full of other stuff, probably :#
    Raet was blissfully ignorant of her childrens’ doing. What a pure soul lol. Anyway, we haven’t ever seen Nubs so insecure have we? Did Kebs let aliens take his mind? Or Pili? Or is it just too unusual to see men have a talk like that in an amazon culture? Are they even still considered slaves?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Whaaat! You didn’t notice Pili’s pretty soft brown eyes? One of the few things he got from his sweet daddy 😉
      That’s okay, the yellow DID kind of steal the show!

      Sabit kept her witchiness sort of on the DL (sort of), there were a few hints dropped here and there, but no massive red flags!
      I mean, you ARE doing a lot of important stuff with your mind right now!!

      She is kind of a pure soul, isn’t she? You know, despite the incest and poly fae-banging etc… oh that woman and her shenanigans! ❤

      Nubs just has a healthy respect for his elders, despite the fact he can be a bit of a turkey at times; he's nice to Raet and Nafi, too… and he looks up to Pili!
      One of the reasons I wrote that scene was to fill the gap a bit where we never really much of Amazon men talking about their views or relationships; slavery is a thing of the past for this tribe, it sort of happened organically.
      Egalitarian beliefs just fit more naturally into their small family dynamic, but they don't necessarily disapprove of the concept of slavery, being as they are still an ancient people.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m not normally *too* fussy over a globe (but if that ur thing, rock on mate), HOWEVER, I was like “maybe a King Xerxes kind of thing could be hot?”

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Pili with brown eyes just looks unnatural! I got so used to seeing him with those yellow ones (thanks to his medical condition) that the brown eyes just look foreign! Oh, the irony.

    Mmmmkay, Munterbacon did such a fucking amazing job with Sabit and I’m hard in love with that girl. She’s mysterious as all get out and she SCREAMS “ancient wisdom.” And then she all has to speak in riddles and make herself sound even MORE mysterious and wise and then does cool shit like make Desh’s hair grow! I’m a fan. I’m really eager to learn more about her backstory!

    Kebs + Nubs = Adorable as ever. 🙂 Gahhhh, their babs are going to be the height of beauty. Raet will be a proud grandmother indeed!


  11. Aww. Is Pili in the last pic of the first part worried the girls might want to exchange him for a fresher model? :c He’s still valid!

    And Sabit, omg. Unloading so much info on poor Desh. That girl is still too traumatized to take in so much! But it makes me wonder, are they probably, maybe the ancestors of the witches? That’d be so funny 😀

    I wonder where Nubsie got those weird ideas of permission from… not from his family, I guess. They seem pretty decent people xD


  12. Hey! So it is something if I’m the first born girl of the first born girl of the first born girl of the first born girl (don’t know beyond that)? LOL. Wonder what seer lady would say about that. Prob nothing. hehe
    Concerned she’ll snatch the baby from demon spawn woman. And I’m wondering how her offspring fits in with the rest of the folks in the story.

    Liked by 1 person

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