88. On A Mission

Last chapter…

Mosi moped around his catacomb bachelor pad and counted stuff bc Nubbins would rather read than be sociable, apparently (rude); luckily Artie came to visit, though the jury is still out on whether or not she knows how to play checkers…
Also, it seems like Nubs might still have a thing for Kebab (dude, get over it).

Sabit showed up in boss heels to zap Bastene into a possessed pancake so the witches could examine her on a table and throw shade at one another (ok, mostly just Sabit throwing shade).
Prim sort of looked like she wanted to cut a bitch tho O.O

Oly’s plots were interrupted by a bad case of dream disintegration, but it’s okay bc Spud has a plan to gtfo that involves being giant and rideable (and slippery).
Minds out of the gutter plz; Oly is still a minor.



“Come along, soft-man, it is not much farther; your small pale feet will be able to carry you for a little more time I think, yes?”

Valdur wasn’t dumb enough to mistake the woman’s words for an actual question, but he nodded anyhow…

…and then promptly stepped on something squishy.

“Ah, my delicate new friend wishes to have us both eaten by a jungle beast I see, this is why he wails so…or is that a call for mating?  Should I tie him to a tree with his bottom facing out and see what comes along, do you think?”

“I’m sorry, please!  I’ll keep quiet, I promise,” he whined, “I was just surprised!”

“That is well, for I would much hate to have to remove the soft-man‘s fat noisy tongue, yes?”

Valdur nodded again, earning a brilliant smile from his eerily cheerful captor; he’d had worse though.


Well, his last captor did a lot more yelling, anyhow…Vilkorgh the Intrepid had been a huge, bellowing, brute who was quick with his axe, heavy-handed with his fists, and didn’t seem to like Valdur very much.

Mayua wasn’t big, and didn’t yell; but she was probably the most terrifying person he’d ever met in his life.

Okay, ‘terrifying’ was definitely worse than ‘hamfisted yeller’.

‘And just when you think life can’t get any worse than being tossed overboard in shark infested waters…’

He’d been laying on the beach, half-drowned and shaking when she’d found him.

Out of the pot, into the fire, or so they say.

At first he’d thought he could maybe escape after he’d recovered a bit, because he was a man, right?  And weren’t men always stronger than women?  You know, in the technical sense, musculature and all that?

Valdur glanced down at his ill-defined abs; maybe it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that he couldn’t overpower one small, slender female…or maybe she was freakishly strong; either way, he wouldn’t be making that mistake again.

A ramshackle building emerged from the trees, catching him off guard–well, she hadn’t been kidding about it not being much farther at least.

“Ah, here we come to it, your new home,” she shot him one of her toothy grins, “wonderful, is it not?  Most inviting, you are thinking, I am sure.”

“It looks…cosy?”  He ventured.  It didn’t, but damned if it wouldn’t be a relief to get out of this sticky heat, and maybe there would be less bugs inside…

“Mayua!  There you are, it’s about time!”  A woman emerged from the shelter and stalked toward them, “I have a job for you, what took you so long?”

“Ah, my favourite employer comes out to greet us, do you see, soft-man?  We are all friends here, how lovely it will be for you to stay with us, you are thinking, I am sure.”

“What do you mean, who is this–” the woman’s eyes swept over him, “–flabby little man?”

“A thing I have found,” his captor shrugged, “he can perhaps be useful, and if not, he can be useful for some other person, and we can find our pockets a little heavier with coin, yes?”

The ’employer’ sneered at him, but didn’t disagree.

“We’ll talk about your new pet later; I have a delicate assignment for you and Ulfr, come.”


“Kebechet, I would like to apologise to you,” if Hattie had suddenly blurted out that she intended to shave her head and live out the rest of her life as a sturgeon, Kebechet would have been less floored.

“I don’t–don’t understand.”

Hatshepsut sighed, “truly, I’ve been very…disrespectful, towards you,” she grimaced, “you are going to be our Queen, one day, and I have been reminded that it is my duty to support you…can you forgive me, sister?”

“I–er, yes, of course,” the older girl’s mind slowly began to recover, “I am pleased you have finally come to your senses.”

“Thank you, my Princess,” Kebechet found herself swept up into an unexpected embrace, “you are most magnanimous.”

“Yes, well, I am g-gr-grateful,” the foreign word tasted strange on her tongue, “for your support.”

“Would you come with me to the garden?  Please?” Hattie squeezed her fingers and smiled; it was a peculiar expression, “I have something special waiting for you there, a surprise!”

“Oh, certainly, I do love surprises!”


‘This is all my own doing,’ Kumya sighed, smacking his head against the cell in frustration, ‘I failed myself and my King.’

Why had he not seen it all along?  It was so obvious!  Well…perhaps it was not, but, he still felt deeply remorseful for not having figured it out sooner.  Not that he had actually figured it out yet–but he would.  Soon.  It was simply the matter of acquiring a few more details.

‘Curses!’  If only he were allowed to see the Ayar!  To explain!  How had the Jaguar Guard even known he had waylaid one of the Concubines?  Had his sovereign been having him followed?  A sobering thought; Kumya had always considered there to be a certain level of trust between them, despite the king’s rampant absurdity.

There came a faint noise of some sort from down the narrow hall outside his cell.  “Hello?”  He called out, as he had done many times before over the past few weeks, but there was never any answer.

Kumya had hoped that there might be another prisoner somewhere in the vicinity to speak with, but his appeared to be the only cage along this corridor.  If only they would put another prisoner in with him–even a violent one!  The sorcerer was not especially fussy; anyone’s company was preferable to this maddening solitude.

There had been bread and hard cheese in the cell when he’d first arrived, and he’d had the foresight to break it into smaller rations, in case no more would be forthcoming.  Did they plan to starve him slowly?  They may very well get their wish, if the madness didn’t take him first.

‘At least I’m constipated from the stress,’ he mused, glancing at the ‘latrine’, in which he’d only managed to make one deposit so far.

The Sorcerer’s rations had been depleted days ago; the hunger gnawed at his guts, even as he feared for his waning sanity–

“So this is where they stuck you eh?”

Kumya gawked at the sudden apparition with it’s burning red eyes and billowing mass of fiery hair.


“Are you okay, misterrr–”  She snapped her fingers, “wait, Komasi, right?”

“Kumya,” he found himself correcting her automatically.

“Ha, what, really?  Do uh, do your friends call you ‘Kum’ for short?”  She broke into a fit of snorting that was probably supposed to register as laughter.

The sorcerer frowned, “I did not hear you turn the lock on the corridor gate.”

“Well that’s because I was being super fucking sneaky you rube.”

“Deshret!”  He exclaimed, suddenly recognizing her.

“Fucking-A,” she agreed, “oh, wait!  It’s the hair right?  Yeah, that’s a pretty crazy story.”

“Have I been in here longer than I thought?”  He gasped, how long did it take for a person to grow so much hair?  Years?

“Buddy, you’ve been in here like two days.”

No, it could not be so short a–Kumya gasped, “wait!  You are dead!  I saw your corpse!”

His bowels turned to water, he glanced at the ‘latrine’ gauging his proximity to it, “are you a spirit, or am I dead also?”

“No crazytown, you’re alive, I’m alive, erryone is alive; calm your tits.”

A slightly louder than normal noise carried itself to them from somewhere else, and the possible apparition glanced nervously in that direction.

“Look bro, I’d love to stay and explain all the things to you, but, I’m actually in a bit of a hurry, so–”

“You are leaving?”

“Leaving, escaping, making-a-full-on-balls-out-mad-dash-away-from-this-freakshow,” she shrugged, “call it what you want.”

“Wait, you have the keys, do you not?  Let me out!  I implore you!”

“Yeah, sure–duh, ofc you don’t want to stay in that shithole.”

“Oh, I–I did not think you would capitulate so easily–”

“What am I, an asshole?”  She snorted, “also, you did me a solid once–kinda?  Anyway, c’mon, I’ll fill you in on the way out.”


“Oh!”  The sudden appearance of strangers on the path to the garden caught Kebechet off guard, “who are you?”

The woman smiled at her, “I am the person who will be taking you away now, lovely girl!  That is most exciting, you are thinking, I am sure!”

Hatshepsut’s voice was soft and sweet when she spoke, “enjoy your surprise, sister.”


Oh man /flaps hands in face to keep the tears at bay
It’s just so nice to see those two girls getting along and stuff ❤

A huge warm welcome to Mayua the Huntress and Valdur the Skald, both submissions by the lovely Haflinger; ty so much ilorbs them ❤ I hope they were worth the wait (the long, long, looong wait).

The Abandoned Shack by Livele
Jailbird Poses by joannebernice



22 thoughts on “88. On A Mission

    1. Seriously tho, Hattie was ICE COLD, man she might be a ruthless queen, def related to Maat imo.

      Also I love Kumya’s new outfit, probably cold tho. Can’t blame him for going a little crazy in solitary confinement. I love that Desh rescued him. ❤

      What did Valdur step in, this is a mystery for the ages

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Oh yeah, that girl have a healthy dose of Maat in her (I guess she got that from either side eh? Lol, oh incest! U sneek u!)

        Inirite? 2 days in solitary will really mess a guy up 😭 the inhumanity!
        NGL, I enjoyed posing him in his underoos ☺️

        Forever a mystery, butt I like to think it was Lamia poop 😎

        Liked by 1 person

  1. WOW Hattie…I knew you had it in you. I didn’t know that I created an actual fatshaming shitlord with Tadla, but we all have our character flaws amirite.

    I AM calling Kumya “Kum” of now on btw

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Omg, are you calling Val fat?! 😱

      Kum is very acceptable, always 😎
      And Hattie is just surprising Kebab with some new frends!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Nubs would probably not be surprised by Hattie shenanigans, butt he would put a stop to it yeah 😬

      We all rooting for good old Kum! 😈
      He’s lucky Desh is a nice lady!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha! As soon as Hattie caught wind of those sneaky slaver/kidnapp-y peeps, I knew she would use this to her advantage… Dang tho. I was also kinda hoping I’d be wrong 😬😭

    “Kum” is the best nickname 😂 Hopefully he and Desh can successfully make it out of there!

    But Kebz 😭 She doesn’t deserve this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hattie using all the resources at her disposal!!
      Kum forever (ehehehehehehehe)
      I’m not worried about them, Desh is scrappy.

      Kebab is, well, ehh 🤷

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Mayua is my new fav. I have a thing for characters delivering bad news, death sentences and all that nice stuff with a smile on their face and positive approach. That goes for Hattie as well. I knew she’s up to no good when she mentioned the surprise. She made a mistake, though. You don’t let the rightful heir live when you plan to take her place. She might return one day and take back what’s hers. Or her children might. As much as I admire your plan, you didn’t think it through, Hattie.
    Will poor Raet be devastated by this news?

    Liked by 5 people

    1. I’m so so pleased you like Mayua ❤
      I drew from a few of my most favourite fictional characters to assemble her persona, so I am very biased in her regard 😀

      Hattie is still incredibly young, and will make many mistakes, alas! She needs to watch more movies smh, classic no no just showing your hand like that and letting your nemesis walk away…

      Raet definitely has some hard emotional times coming her way 😦

      Liked by 4 people

  4. Lol!

    I was wondering what was up with Mayau…she’s wickedly cute, devilish…and then wham! HATTIE!

    Great twist!

    Omg…Kumya is one of my favs so I’m extremely happy he’s not dead and he’s escaped! 👏👏👏

    Liked by 2 people

    1. She is! Aww, Mayua, always ready to wham someone! (And assume they like it ofc)

      I didn’t have it in me to kill Kumya, he’s too pure! Gullible people deserve to live! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Dark WitcHazard: Look who it is Mr. HenevergottoKum is still alive! Desh is earning more points as one of my fav characters you always payback your debts smart girl then no one can hold it over your head later! Maya’s was today’s backup MVP compared to Hattie got to love someone who doesn’t give a F for what comes out their mouth and always does it with a smile! Hattie betrayal looks so good on you I’m so proud!😭

    Lover WitcHazard: Some of is are born with poisonous fangs and some are not! Kebab should have gotten rid of Hattie awhile ago but now the tables have turned! But the real question is whose the lucky guy who gets to be Hattie’s human dildo so she can have an heir! Unless she just raises her sister’s child as her own but where’s the fun in that!

    Nooboos WitcHazard: Wait a second when did Kebab have the nooboo?! I’ve been bamboozled again!👿🔥🔥 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. When Dark WitcHazard thinks u good people, Desh, u must be truly good people! (atta girl)
      Them girls made a good showing for themselfs today /nods
      Many naughty things, butt, so charming and slick, who can be mad? (Kebab probably).

      Dontchu worry, Lover! We will v soon meet Hattie’s future human dildo (he is 👌 10/10 let me tell u bb)
      Can confirm that Hattie raises no sister childrens (she would tho, Hattie’s not a monster!)

      No bamboozled! I swear! Kebab still pregnant, just only a little pop, hard to see from the front! (should probably pop it a bit more actually, ty for reminderrrr)
      Fk timelines amirite 😀


  6. Wow! Hattie just gave her up without another thought! Bye-bye Kebs. Maybe nubbins will save you and then you an get your revenge on Hattiekins. You shoulda known better than to trust her!

    Ha… Then Desh ❤️ is gonna save Kumya! Yay! Maybe he won’t die innocent. But where is her baby Daddy? Hmmm.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hattie dun had enough of that sister! Seen an opportunity and machinated the heck out of it (😬) Kebab just didn’t have the scope of vision to see that coming!

      Aww, it warms my cockles you are rooting for the destruction of Kumya’s V-card 😭
      What a beautlful sentiment! Tola might have a thing or two to say about it being Desh, but hey, as you said, where is that guy anyhow? O.o

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I have the same issue, eternally thinking of Kum! 😭
      Desh has had enough of these people’s shit, she’s got a head full of hair and a fire in her belly and this little demon spawn is gettin’ the heck outta dodge!

      Liked by 1 person

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