27. He’s Just Not That Into You

Last chapter…

Octavia tried to adjust to less fun toys than she didn’t remember, and Caris made plans to be the MVP of Amazons (in the hopes of getting props from Athena), and then had a passive-aggressive throw down about The Rules and the future of Sima-Mighdall with Raet.

Kenza made an unfortunate/fortunate (depending on which team you play for) discovery while out for a super long walk with her bb sidekick (snark ensued).

Also there was Totec/Aten steamy things with a side of feels AND we bid adieu to the most wonderful Troll Queen a simmer could ask for (miss you already gurl!) /sniff

Onward!


Turns out that acquiring free slaves meant hiding behind a rock until some guy walked by, then jumping out and kicking his ass; Antonia was kinda disappointed, actually.

Kenza tied the poor guy up and marched him back to the pyramid, and that was that…Antonia wasn’t sure she wanted to be an Amazon now; that whole thing seemed pretty shady to her.

Amazons were supposed to be fierce warriors, right?  Women refusing to live under the thumb of men; women with dignity!

Beating up strangers didn’t seem very dignified.

‘Where did I even learn that word?’

Big words were the least of her memory problems, actually…she didn’t remember learning all that stuff about Amazons either, but she just kind of knew?  Sort of like she just kind of knew that rain was made from vapour carried up into the sky where clouds formed…never mind that she’d never seen it rain here.

Every day, though, she felt like she knew a little bit more…like it was all coming back at her somehow, and she wondered if one day she’d remember everything.



Maat: “He’s, um…”

Kenza: “Yes, Majesty, my apologies,” she huffed, “I was in a hurry to return to you; it was necessary to choose a less than ideal specimen.”

Maat: “How can he be so flabby in the middle, but still have such scrawny legs?”

Kenza sighed, “perhaps he is part camel?  I can dispose of him if you wish, my Queen.”

Maat: “Whatever, I don’t care, but he’s not fathering any of my brats; that other one you brought from Themysimra will be old enough soon, I suppose he’ll do.”

Kenza: “There is another option, Majesty; the reason I hurried back with our unevenly proportioned guest as a matter of fact…I found where your mother stashed Sima-Mighdall’s Scholar Slave.”


Pili: “Hey Jahi, can we talk?”

Jahi: “We are already talking, Highness.”

Pili: “Or you could be a dick, that’s fun too.”

Jahi: “If it’s fun you’re after, Highness, might I suggest the Bath House?  I’m certain there are many unsuspecting young ladies there eager to be coerced into bearing illegitimate vampire offspring.”

Pili: “Yeah, that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Pili: “Shutup.”

Pili: “You’ve got 3 kids, right?  I figure you know about that kind of stuff.”

Jahi: “You are correct as to the number of children I have fathered, my Prince, but I think you overestimate my knowledge on ‘that kind of stuff’.”

Pili: “Look, I just need to know if it’s normal for a guy to, you know, go there…but then not remember a thing?”

Jahi: “I would be happy to recommend a book, Highness.”

Pili: “Seriously, Jahi, please?  I know you’re a smart dude, okay?  I legit do not remember knocking up that…woman.

Jahi: “My Prince, has it ever occurred to you that the young lady might have been lying to you about the paternity of her child?”

Pili: “Yeah, I guess, but he does look like me…and I’m pretty sure he’s got fangs too?  I just wanna know if that’s a normal guy thing…not remembering having had–you know.”

Jahi: “Coitus.”

Pili: “Yeah, that.”

Jahi: “I’m afraid it is not ‘a normal guy thing’, no, Highness; one does tend to remember having had coitus, in great detail, as a matter of fact.”

Pili: “Huh.  Okay.”

Jahi: “My Prince, may I suggest that this is more likely to be a vampire related issue, and less of an issue with being male?”

Pili: “I was afraid you might say that.”

Pili: “I don’t know a damned thing about all that vampire crap–”

Pili: “–dude, are you smiling?”

Jahi: “Ah, a damned vampire?”  The older man huffed once.  Pili supposed it could have been some kind of laugh.

Pili: “Seriously no, don’t…it’s creepy when you do it.”

Jahi: “Duly noted, Highness.”

Jahi: “I will consult what meager literature I have available on the subject, my Prince, but, if I were to guess, I suspect it is an issue with your diet.”

Pili: “My diet?  What?  No; I get lots to eat!  Like, 2 or 3 of those vampire fruits a day–”

Jahi: “Plasma fruit.”

Pili: “Right, those; lots of those.”

Jahi: “I recall reading that sometimes a recently transitioned vampire can develop certain behavioural issues…though the text was not specific as to what those issues might be.”

Pili: “Oh, swell, I bet the cure for that shit is something ridiculous and convoluted too, like, goat hammocks–”

Jahi: “I have no earthly idea what a ‘goat hammock’ is, Highness, but I can tell you that the solution is actually quite simple; indulge in fresh human blood as often as possible.”

Pili: “Dude, I can’t just start biting all you guys!  That’s…no.”

Jahi: “I was certainly not suggesting that you do, my Prince; obviously biting the children is out of the question–”

Pili: “Yeah, well, that just leaves you or Tem–”

Jahi: “You are NOT biting Tem.”

Pili: “Calm your tits bro, I wasn’t suggesting I start biting Tem!  But…um, that just leaves…ah–”

Jahi: “Me, obviously.”

Pili: “Ye-eah…no.”

Jahi: “Why-ever not?”

Pili: “Dude…no, that’s–I don’t want to suck on another guy, okay?”

Jahi: “I promise you it will not result in coitus.”

Pili: “Yeah, no shit.”



Cassie: “Is that her?  Is that the Queen?”

Terry: “Yup, that’s her!  We lived with her and everything!”

Jackie: “She was so nice!  She never got cross with me even when I jumped out from behind the woohoo bush and scared her on her way to bed!”

Cassie: “Wow, she’s so pretty too…but I guess Queens usually are, huh?”

Jackie: “Yeah, legit; you basically have to be I guess.”

Cassie: “And she’s really in there?  In that little pot?”

Jackie: “Just her ashes…I’m pretty sure you can’t stuff people in tiny pots even after they die.”

Cassie: “That makes sense.”

Terry: “It’s really sad though, don’t you think?  I mean, she was such a nice lady, and now she’s just gone…”

Terry: “…and Mom’s pretty torn up about it because that was her best friend, she said, like her sister.”

Terry: “I’d be super sad if I lost my sister…er, sisters.”

Cassie: “Wow, I wonder if there’s some people somewhere who are sad because they think they lost me?”

Well, if she did have a family somewhere that thought they lost her, she didn’t remember them…but she still felt a little bit sad anyhow?

At least she had a nice adopted family with Jackie and Terry, and their baby sister, and Mr. and Mrs. Scholar, and Pili, and that new kid who was always biting everyone.

Cassie hoped that nothing bad would happen to any of them like it did to the nice Queen!


Footnotes:

Dun, dun, dunnn (or something).

My apologies for the lack of coitus; it just didn’t feel like their moment, y’know?

Swetoslawna Fantasy Throne by HistoricalSimsLife

Maat’s sexy throne room: “HAPPY SIMMING!”

21 thoughts on “27. He’s Just Not That Into You

  1. Oooooh loved this!!! Pili and Jahi talking.
    Jahi: “You are NOT biting Tem.”!!

    That was my favorite.

    Well, and Pili you may call SimCat….Baby Mamma. (Alleged is fine)

    I loved though that Pili admited the kid probably was his. 🙂 Yes Pili…come feed on Mamma again… mmmmm

    The kids….all the feeeeels. :tear: (the new kid who was always biting everyone… hahahahaha)

    And the end…with the recon….loved this soooo much!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yeah, you don’t mess with Tem unless you want the Jahi DEATH STARE…not sure how he’d do in an actual fight though…hm, but I think he’s got 10 fitness, so probably not too bad?
      Poor Pili! Imagine getting all that hot secks and not being able to remember any of it though!
      I promise that’s the last Bastet tribute! (Let go WF, let go…)

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m all caught up and I’m absolutely in love with this story! It’s so clever, light-hearted, and it has just the right amount of raunchy. Can’t wait to see what happens next, though I hope nothing bad happens to Jahi, Tem, Pili or the kids.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ahh! Ty so much new fren 😀
      *THINGS* will be happening next, for sure (/nods sagely), some of it good, some of it…less good; but hopefully more good than less good? /grimace

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ooooh, Antonia is becoming self-aware! What will we find out about the l’il rapscallion as time goes on? And by the Goddess, WILL IT EVER RAIN?!!?!

    I loved the conversation between Jahi and Pili! It made me laugh too many times, and their faces were simply priceless! Plus Jahi is so very technical to to-the-point…is he Daya’s brother from another mother?

    Such a fun chapter!! Loved it!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. First of all: rapscallion: new word of the day. (10 points to Ravenclaw).
      Antonia and I are both eager for some seasons rain action (c’mon EA!)…don’t make the mistake of underestimating that precocious little dove, Kenza! (Too late, I think).
      Jahi/Pili are my new fave bromance…buddy cop TV series maybe?
      Though, Jahi *wishes* he could be a cool as Daya!
      Ty darling ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Awww….Bastet. It was so sad watching the kids remembering her. And Tam, 😢😢😢 poor thing. Pili was a hoot trying to find out if guys couldn’t remember… uh yes…in great detail dude! Your a freaking vampire. Drink some blood….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My poor best queen ever 😭
      Pili is such a terrible vampire, omg… but, then, to be fair, his vampire mentor ran off with his brother 😬

      Liked by 1 person

  5. bitches try and come in to steal big daddy librarian dude and Pili hops out and be like ‘aw, hell no! you’re not takin the only thing i can suck on’ Wait a minute…
    I think I needta go to sleep.

    Liked by 1 person

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